First Time Flyers

I think I just had one of the funniest conversations since being in Uganda. We had all gathered at our supervisor’s house to have a farewell party for a volunteer, Richard, who was going back to his home in Cameroon. We were sitting on Ketty’s porch, all huddled together to hide from the rain, eating mangos (and when I say eating, I mean people were hoarding them in their mouths—people go nuts during mango season) and drinking soda while reliving some of our good times with Richard. At some point, we got on the topic of Richard flying back to Cameroon and one of my workmates, Denis, began talking about his first experience flying. Even when he was speaking Acoli and did not translate, it was HYSTERICAL through his reenactment.

Denis first began with describing the take off, saying he felt his insides rise up with the rest of the plane and thought they were going to continue up out of his mouth once the plane leveled. I can’t really describe how funny it was because he was speaking Acoli and it was mostly in his facial expressions and body language that displayed the hilarity. Again still in Acoli, he switched to a different topic as he held his arms out sideways to imitate the wings of the airplane, and began shaking them furiously with a very troubled look on his face. He then translated in English saying, “They announced that there would be some turbulence and hopefully we would arrive safely”, and again held his arms out sideways (not fully extended, more like a T-rex) and started shaking them and wobbling side to side. He repeated this a few more times and we all laughed for about five minutes straight with this description.  “You know, when I first entered the plane, I wanted to sit by myself-I did not want to share. One side was one seat and the other had two, so I chose the one seat. But when the plane started shaking and I saw other people together, me I felt all alone. I wanted to be there with someone” and started cuddling up to Santos who was then sitting next to him. “And you know, the problem was the wing of the airplane was outside my window. So, I could see it shaking furiously,” and again Denis wipped out the flailing T-rex arms. “So me, I said, ‘Eh!’” and had a terrified, confused look on his face. Again, this was repeated multiple times and the amusement did not cease. “Then, I began to hear noises coming from the plane. ‘Weeeeeee!!!!! Ssssssssssss-Weeeeeeeeee!!!!” as he once again busted out the T-rex arms with the sincerest look of confusion on his face. “Me, I was not alone. The others on the plane were there too, not knowing what to do,” and he continued his worried, unknowing look bouncing around the plane desperately seeking safety. “And you know, the people, none of us knew what was happening. They started yelling at me, ‘Eh, you! Open the door! Open!’” to which Denis sneered back, “Me, who am I? I am one of you, I do not know!” To this, our supervisor Ketty, who has traveled to Italy many times, could not stop laughing. She said, “Eh!! You cannot open the door, you would not know how! And one cannot open it in the air! Isn’t it?” and she looked at me for confirmation. I could only shake my head, yes, as I was choking from laughing so hard. “Even before we started,” Dennis continued, “when we were waiting, me I’m seeing this liquid spilling from the wing. As I see it, I’m thinking to myself, eh, that is fuel. We are all going to blow up. And I’m just waiting.” LOL. Then Denis said, “Even at the airport. When I first arrived, they took my bag, eh. So me, I’m waiting and I thought I would take my bag. But then, I see they put my bag and psh! It went!” referring to the conveyor belts that carry the bags. “So me, I’m waiting, not knowing where my bag has gone. Even when I am getting on the plane and seeing them unload, I wait. Everyone else enters the plane but I wait outside to see. And me, I’m wondering. When I get to Kitgum, how will my bag be there?” Again, this whole conversation was repeated and elaborated for about five minutes and the whole of us could not stop laughing.

Once the hilarity died down a bit, and we were able to speak without laughter interrupting, Denis said, “Eh, but you know: we were ignorant to flying. We did not know. When it is your first time, you just do not know.” To this, Richard started sharing some of his experiences flying with first timers. “You know, one time we were going to the airport with a friend who had never flown. We came to the doors, you know, that open without you touching them?” To which Ketty and I immediately started laughing at as we knew what he was about to say. “Well, he was seeing the doors open on their own as people approached. So, when he approached,” and he started hesitating moving forward and backward imitating his friend not knowing how to proceed through the doors. “He would start and then the door opened and he would stop,” all the while everyone laughing. He repeated this a few times and Denis chimed in, “Eh, twas like he was timing it—eh?!” as he imitated the man like a girl timing when to jump into a double dutch.

It all was absolutely hilarious and I do not think I am doing it justice in my description here. The way Denis was acting out the event, dude—too fregging funny. Ketty concluded the stories by saying, “Eh, but when you have never done, you do not know. How can you know?” I never thought about it like that, but man—that would be pretty terrifying.